Squirt

The café was part of a complex of buildings that formed the Stables. This probably covered more area than the main House itself. I entered one of the stables to look at the exhibits. I’m not a horseracing fan, but the items on show did spark some interest. Racehorses were bred at Calke Abbey from around the 1700s. One of these was called Squirt. Unfortunately the horse developed laminitis and Sir Henry Harpur ordered the horse to be put down. The groom begged for a reprieve and the horse lasted another six weeks during which time it went on to sire Eclipse, the founder of the richest bloodline in horseracing history. Eclipse was unbeaten in his horseracing career and was said to have freakish speed. An information board showed the descendants of Squirt (including Eclipse) to the present day. I even recognised some of the names such as: Shergar, Red Rum, Frankel, Seabiscuit and Desert Orchid. Maybe that's not so unsurprising since it is said that 80% of modern thoroughbred racehorses have Eclipse somewhere in their pedigrees. Humans share 53% of chromosome pairs with horses which makes me wonder why I’m not able to run a bit faster than I do. There again, I’ve never seen a horse tying shoelaces, a task of which I’m sometimes capable. 

St Giles Church

The main House at Calke was built on the site of an Augustinian priory that operated from the 12th century. There’s no evidence of the priory now; none that I could see anyway. I never really got to the bottom of why the place is now known as Calke Abbey, rather than Calke Priory. There was a church about half a kilometre away to the south of the House and I started making my way towards it. I had to pass the main House to do this. It definitely looked a grand looking three storey building and I looked forward to wandering around it later in the day. 

St Giles Church was quite pretty and surrounded by a few trees. The earliest reference to the church on the site is in 1129 and was the parish church of the village of Calke between 1160 and 1834. It was known as a ‘peculiar’ meaning that it was exempt from the jurisdiction of the Bishop of the Diocese. Instead they answered directly to the monarch (a Royal Peculiar) or another higher church authority, such as an archbishop or cathedral dean. I’ve drank plenty of Theakston’s Old Peculier in my time, but I’d never really thought much about its name. In fact after several pints of the stuff I tend not to think about anything at all. The beer’s name does indeed derive from this peculiar reference to peculiar churches. How peculiar! 

Walled Garden

A woodland trail delivered me to the entrance to the Walled Garden. It was indeed a magical place; a summer oasis in autumn. It is remarkable how a high wall delays the onset of the colder seasons.  I entered the Flower Garden first. This was a delightful area with plenty of flower beds and exotic looking trees. In one corner of the garden there was a small theatre for displaying the plants, although none were positioned there today. 

I exited the Flower Garden and entered a large, grass area. This used to be a Kitchen Garden, but was ploughed up for pastures in the 1970s. The outlines of the beds can still be seen in the colouration of the grass. There was a large Orangery and Greenhouse along one of the walls.  On the far side of the grass area was the entrance to the Slip Garden. This made use of the external side of the walled garden where the protection and warmth of the wall allowed trained fruit to grow. ‘Slips’ are an old term for cuttings, as the area was used for trees and shrub cuttings.    

I re-entered the old Kitchen Garden and crossed over the grass to the Physic Garden. Walking through the gate I was met by a wall of colour from the multitude of plants in the flower beds. Dressed scarecrows were dotted about the enclosure. In the 1700s the Physic Garden was the main productive garden and was used for both culinary and medicinal purposes. A chalk and slate sign gave an indication of the remarkable healing powers of some of the plants that were grown in the 18th century at Calke:

Hyssop - ‘helps those that are stung by serpents’

Lady’s Bedstraw - ‘ herb of flowers bruised + put in the nostrils, staves the bleeding’

Lady’s Mantle - ‘for such women or maids as have over great flagging breasts causing them to grow less’
Wall Germander - ‘kills the worms in the belly 

I tried to find some Lady's Mantle since I seemed to be afflicted with flagging breasts as I've got older and fatter, but there weren't any in the bed. I looked around the garden to see if I could see anybody who might have picked some up; there were a few likely candidates.

I walked through the west gate of the psychic garden into a corridor of colour. There were a multitude of flowers in the beds. I chatted to a local fellow who said that he came here at least once every season of the year. He said that each season was special and he didn’t have a favourite one. I walked along this terrace of flowers and entered a utility type area. Some of the different varieties of apples from the orchard were available for visitors to sample. 

The gardens had turned out to be a lot better than expected. Although to be honest, I wasn't expecting much from a late September visit. I spotted the entrance to the Garden Tunnel and I decided to give it a try. 

Garden Tunnel

I expected there to be some sort of lighting in the Garden Tunnel, but it was as black as coal when I stepped inside. I couldn’t really see the exit point on entry and I did have some doubts about venturing further into the place. It told myself to pull myself together and I walked into the void. It turned out to be a rather curious experience. It was far, far, far longer than I thought it was going to be. After a while walking, the exit point did come into view, but it just didn’t seem to get any closer. I have to confess, I lost my nerve a little bit, turned around and started walking back to the entrance. The entrance didn’t seem to get any closer. There were some stirrings of panic at that point and I turned around again and started marching towards the exit again. Pans Labyrinth is one of my favourite films, but it wasn’t particularly one that I wanted to participate in. I imagined hands reaching out of the walls and dragging me to God knows where. It was unnerving that I couldn’t actually see the walls. I should have taken my phone out and used it as a torch, but I was focussed on getting to that pin-prick of light in the distance. I’m not quite sure what would have happened if I’d met somebody else coming the other way since I had the feeling that the dimensions of the tunnel weren’t that great. I did of course eventually reach the end of the tunnel and it deposited me into the middle of some woodland. Why there should be a tunnel to take you from the garden to this particular woodland spot, I've no idea. I shook myself and my anxiety diminished a little. I set off with my chin held high towards the Ice House. I'd conquered the Garden Tunnel.

Ice House And Grotto

The trail to the Ice House first took me by the Deer Park where many Red and Fallow Deer were laid down sunbathing. I couldn’t blame them. I expect they’d wait to do their rutting once the estate closed to visitors. The Ice House was a sub-terranean structure consisting of two rooms. I didn’t find any ice in there, but I could hear plenty of flies buzzing about. I wondered why they built this so far away from the main House, since I reckon it was a kilometre round trip.  It must have been a pain to have to pop to the Ice House for some milk to put in your cup of tea. I suppose that's what servants are for. I’m not sure what would happen if it was a warm winter and there wasn’t much snow to pack into the Ice House. Maybe the Harpurs just relied on Pot Noodles during those years.    

I didn’t find the Grotto on my initial tour of the garden area. It was only when I went around the House and asked a Greeter, that she pointed out the location. I should have referenced the Calke Estate map since it was clearly shown on it. Anyway, I did find it in the end. It was along the grassy area, to the east of the House and just before the Deer Park. The reason I hadn’t spotted it was that it was fairly well hidden. Even the entrance wasn’t well advertised. I ventured through its entrance and entered an enclosed area that contained…well, it contained a Grotto. I’m not really a big Grotto fan and this one didn’t really change my opinion. There was a pool area that spanned the inside of the Grotto and the enclosed area. This must have contained water at some stage, but it was just green weeds now. Maybe it would look okay with a few fairy lights strung up. Anyway, I'd done my duty and visited it.   

 My wander around Calke’s Gardens was superb. There were plenty of things to see and plenty of curiosities. Those with greener fingers than mine (which will probably be 99% of the population) will marvel at the plants there. I do recommend that you visit St Giles Church. If you decide to venture into the Garden Tunnel then I recommend taking a torch, and also a reliable friend who doesn't scare easily.